zesmerelda

She:"They're...they're...What do call those people who go to the games? Ball game people?" Me: "Ummmm...fans?" She:"Yeah, yeah! Fans! I'm losing my fuckin' mind."

She: "I wanted to smack her down. You know I've appointed myself your champion." Me: "You're my white knight?" She: "More like baby-shit yellow." Me: "I meant your aura was white." She: "Oh, oh! Yeah, you can see my white aura with a blacklight."

She: "My mother called me first thing this morning to remind me that He was watching over me." Me: "He? Alan Greenspan?" She: "No, think higher." Me: "Higher than Alan Greenspan? I'm not sure I follow you." She (intones): "For Alan is the alpha and the omega..." Me: "More like the M1 through M4."

Me: "Of course, we'll need a back up plan in case we can no longer pick your brain." She: "You mean, in case my head explodes like a ripe melon." Me: "Yes, though I have no problem with that." She: "Others can't stand the rinds and the guts...it's messy." Me: "I don't see why. I'll

The Old Heidelberg Restaurant, one of my old college haunts, burned down last night. I have many fond memories of the place -- skipping Psych 101 classes to eat chocolate cake with Shai, taking the S.C.U.B.A. group to eat after weekend lessons, hanging out... I had the chance to visit the 'Berg this July, but

She: "You want to go to Renfaire next weekend?" Me: "I don't know...I'll miss the pretty planes buzzing downtown Chicago. I've been looking forward to sonic booms and what-all." She: "Men in chain mail." Me: "Alrighty then, I'm in." She: "Great, I've got the perfect costume for you: belly dancer!" Me: "No. No-way. Nuh-uh. Not

She: "You know, you could just show up and look cute." Me: "Not run the race? Really?" She: "Yeah, you won't be hot and sweaty...there'll be cute Elvis impersonators and whatall and we can go to the bar afterwards. Think about it." She B: "She's right. If you don't run, you'll be sweat-free, cute and

Me: "I heard the sequel is going to be Lion Queen." Lil She: "Nuh-uh. Simba is a boy." Me: "So? The next one's about Nala. She's much more interesting. Yep, I can't wait to see Lion Queen." Lil She: "But Lion Queen doesn't sound right." Me: "That's because you hear Lion King, Lion King, Lion

Me: "If I have to hear one more time how Ben Affleck is sexy, I think I'll backhand someone." She: "No kidding, he's about as sexy as day-old carp." Me: "I was going to say cardboard, but then I realized that was unfair to cardboard." She: "And it's fair to carp?" Me: "Depends on how

I can't decide which is more amusing...the fact that I won a medal for the race I ran a few weekends ago (I spent more time goading small children than actually running), or the letter that tells me about it (see below). Doesn't matter. I feel, like, a, winner. Dear, Race Participant This is your