Self Defense
She: "You're not taking your iPod to Paris? What if you need to bludgeon someone to death?" Me: "Well, I plan to buy a bagette to carry around. For self defense." She: "Oooooooooooooooh, if that happens, then I want a picture!" Me: "I'll let my photog know."
iPod – Coments on murder most foul…
"Did you hear about the iPod murder?" "My Gaud! Well, that's one first I won't be a part of. Darn..." "Heh. Remind me not to piss you off while you have your iPod in hand." "Always a good idea...hmmmm, at least she killed him with a full-sized iPod. Can you
The dangers of sushi…
Me: "Oh, look! They have a viagra roll." He: "They don't!" Me: "Sure, see...right there." He: "Huh..." Me: "I won't think any less of you if you order it." He: "I'm not ordering a viagra roll." Me: "You want one. I know you do. It's a delicious combination of salmon,
What’s in a name…
He: "...So my last name's a Scottish compaint about British heritage. By the way...what's your last name?" Me: "Green" He: "No e? Just the color?" Me: "No, not just the color. It's a particular shade of green." He: "Wait, you have a shade?" Me: "Oh, there's nothing official, but I
Because you can’t trust anything you read…
Or so Dave's Web of Lies would have you believe. Go test yourself against such whoppers as this: The French Ministry of Culture has projected that 87 per cent of all French post-modernists will have deconstructed themselves by 2008. The Prince of Wales intends to announce that he is abandoning
Bronzed.
"He looks like a bronze statute. I wonder how many times they had to dip him." "In bronze?" "Self-tanner. Looks like they used a vat of the stuff. I bet they held him by the ankle and lowered him in." "And does that make Brad invulnerable to bad movie reviews?"
