He: "My sisters told me there are three criteria for bras: cut, color, comfort." Me: "They left out padding, lace, lift and whether it squishes your boobs together. And color? It's a choice between white/beige or not. All you need to know is if it can be seen under a white shirt." He: "I had
Me: "You know what I realize after watching this film?" She: "What?" Me: "I'd like to be in a cavalry charge." She: "Ahhh, I told you you'd like The Last Samurai ." Me: "Actually this idea started with Return of the King. That was a great charge!" She: "Yes it was, but I have no
He: "Excuse me, but you're in the wrong bathroom." Me: "No, I'm not." He: "Yes, you are." Me (pointing at the tampon machine): "No. I'm not." He: "...oh, oh! Excuse me..."
She: "What kind of lipgloss is that?" She B: "It's called Make Out. What are you wearing?" She: "Diva." She B: "Of course." Me: "Golly, I feel under-glossed wearing this huckleberry lip balm." She B: "But didn't huckleberry lip balm once save your life?" Me: "Yes, yes it did." She: "You could combine glosses. Add
She: "How much do I owe you for the ticket? Or is this a date?" He: "It could be a date. You don't owe me for the ticket." Me: "No, no, no! If it's a date, then I'm a third wheel. If she pays, then it's an outing." She: "Wench! You're gonna cost me fifteen
She: "Be careful! There are bumps around here and I don't want to tip over." Me: "If you do, make a snow angel. There's some nice, virgin snow on the right. Fall that way." She: "Great! That'll make it easier for the paramedics to find me." Me: "I'll tell them you're the body with the
SVP: "So, ummmm, you, ummmm, have a classics background?" Me: "No, I have a degree in economics. Why?" SVP: "The, uhhhh, web page you showed was, uhhhhh, in Latin." Me: "Yes, I used Lorem Ipsum. It's commonly used as placeholder text in design." SVP: "Oh, oh. So you, ummm, don't read Latin." Me: "No, sorry."
Me: "Oh, before I forget, the consultant is making us breakfast on Monday." She: "She's making it herself? Uh-oh." Me: "Making it...buying it and bringing it in...I'm not sure. Why?" She: "..." Me: "What? Spit it out." She: "Are you sure she's not going to poison us?" Me: "Why would she do that? She wouldn't
She: "Everyone up there is incompetent!" (points to the ceiling) Me: "How far up are you pointing?" She: "To the 9th floor." Me: "Oh, I wasn't sure if you were pointing past the roof and including the Almighty in your ranting." She: "Well, now that you mention it..."
Me: "So, there really is a Winnebago, IL?" She: "Yeah, we drove through it, why?" Me: "It's just that I thought the sign for the Winnebago Clinic was for R.V. owners. I thought it was kinda cool that people drove their R.V.'s up to get serviced." She: "No, that was an actual clinic for sick
