He: "I'm awaiting the thump that will signal your rapidly cooling corpse." Me: "Yeah, you and countless others. So sorry to disappoint you." He: "Hey! I said I was waiting, not eagerly anticipating." Me: "It makes little difference to my recovery." He: "Anticipated recovery." Me: "Go away."
Interstate Bakeries is going belly-up, according to Business Week. The maker of Twinkies, Wonder Bread and other good things couldn't keep up with the 'low-carb' craze, but B.W. thinks they just stopped trying. Either way, I'm adding Twinkies to my Peapod order. It'll take me forever to eat them so I'll stow them in my
phone rings Me: "Hello?" She: "We need to go to New York again." Me: "Okay, sure." She: "I'm watching Sex and the City, and I see all of these cool places we need to go." Me: "Which season?" She: "Season 4. They were just in Tao. We stood outside of Tao! I recognize the street
I've been having some of the strangest experiences on the L lately. Usually I tune out with my iPod, but my ears are wonky from the coughing, hacking, wheezing, etc. so I've been watching and listening to my fellow passengers more than I want. I can't wait to be well again. Parrot Talker to her
I got on the L last night after having a quick dinner/drink with the Fabulous Ms. B, and thought myself lucky to find a good seat on the train. In this case, it was the window seat of the pair that faces forward next to the pair that doesn't. Normally I prefer the second of
"I finished reading Vogue today." "Uh-oh. What did you buy?" "Three pairs of fishnets. I've never worn fishnets." "That's the problem with reading those magazines. I have a copy of Allure waiting at home. I fear I'll be next." "Yes, prepare to loosen your pocketbook." I chuckled to myself and then froze in fear, remembering
I haven't posted much lately which is unusual for me. The only thing going on my life right now is I'm sick. "Stay at home and don't infect your co-workers" sick. "Stay at home because your coughs are disturbing to people around you" sick. "Dear God, stay away from my child" sick. Sick. Doctor told
Me: "Did the ceiling in your bathroom have cheetah spots?" He: "My bathroom?" Me: "Yeah, in McDonald's. Did it?" He: "Nooooooo. Did yours?" Me: "It did. Kinda freaked me out. That's something I didn't need to see this early in the morning." He: "Are you sure you weren't hallucinating?" Me: "I was not hallucinating! See,
She: "Here, we need these, too." Me: "Entenmann's Chocolate Chip Cookies? We need these? I thought you were being good." She: "I was, but we have to get them. They're Amy's favorites!" Me: "But...Amy's not going to be there!" She: "Then we'll eat them in her honor." Me: "When there's no logic, how can I
Me: "You're too young to fly on a plane by yourself." Niece: "Oh yeah? When I was a baby I flew here to see Grandma and Grandpa." Me: "And you remember that?" Niece: "Uh-huh." Me: "Then you remember the plane crash, too?" Niece: "Uh-huh!" Me: "A-ha! There was no plane crash! I caught you fibbing!"
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