When the Stakes Are High
He: "I'll bet you a donut that it won't get done." Me: "I'll see your donut and raise you a bundt cake." He: "See, that just illustrates the difference between a Grade 12 and Grade 14 employee..." Me: "What, the number of calories I'm willing to wager?" She: "This is
Crisis
Me (picking up phone): "Hello?" She: "Hi, I have a problem. Someone brought me a piece of chocolate cake and I'm trying sooooo hard to be good. Do you want it?" Me: "No, but I give you permission to throw it in the trash." She: "What? I can't do that!"
Repetitive
She B: "Yeah, my friend's former babysitter was in the play. She had a redundant role on Doogie Howser." Me: "What's that like, a redundant role?" She: "She could only say one line over and over!" Me: "For the entire series? Cool..." She (straight): "Roll-up your sleeve." Me: "But she
Literals
She: "We need to get on the same page...heh, we need to agree on the same book! I'm not sure we've done that." Me: "The book's not the real problem. First, we have to meet in the library!"
Blank
Me: "Damn..." They: "What?" Me: "I can't remember why I left my office." He: "Yeah, that happens to me sometimes." Me: "No, really. I can't remember." He B: "Bathroom?" Me: "I think I would know that, but thanks for the thought."
Side Effects
Me (whispering): "Sorry, I've lost my voice. I won't be saying much at this meeting." He (whispering): "That's okay. I'll try to do most of the talking. Now, the first agenda item..." Me (whispering): "Excuse me, but I have to whisper. You can talk normally." He: "Oh, oh right. Right!"
