She: "I'm going to marry Prince William some day." Me: "Why? You wouldn't be happy. There's no way you'd fit in with the family and it'd make you miserable." She: "Just because I'm Catholic, American and disabled?" Me: "Yeah. Why don't you find a nice rock star to latch onto? There are plenty of single,
Me: "Oooo! There's a dead squirrel! One more and I've got bingo!" She: "What?" Me: "I was tired of the same old car bingo, so I decided to create my own." She: "So you play the taxidermist version?" Me: "No, no...the Road Kill version." She: "Pigeons, deer, squirrels...what else?" Me: "Raccoons, pets and tires." She:
Me: "The BF told his dad about my blog." She: "He did? Why?" Me: "Says he would've found it anyway. I guess I can't escape the google age." She: "Did you tell him that your mom doesn't even know about your blog?" Me: "Yes. I know she could find it, but I also know she
Drive-Through BK Employee: "Here's your children's meals." Me: "We didn't order children's meals. Our invisible children aren't hungry." She: "We ordered two large dinners." Drive-Through BK Employee: "Did you already pay?" She: "Yes! $8.52" Drive-Through BK Employee: "Oh....okay, you owe me $9.09. Let's see...that's seventeen cents." Me: "No. It's not." Drive-Through BK Employee: "..." Drive-Through
She: "I'm not feeling very social today." Me: "You're not feeling social? I'm misanthropic." She: "Always going one better than me!" Me: "Are you talking to me? Why are you talking to me?" She: "Get out of my car." Me: "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to stop looking in my general direction." She:
She: "I was caught reading Nora Roberts on the bus, and I remembered the saying about only having books that you would be proud of reading. You know, in case you died or something." Me: "It's like your mom telling you to wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident." She: "I do that."
Me: "Hey, nice tie." He: "Thanks, I got it at Sax." Me: "Nice." He: "You know I meant Sax Rack, right? I can't afford the real Sax." Me: "It's cool. When people ask about these pants? I say Ann Taylor and leave off the Loft. Let'em figure it out."
He: "Did you have a good time?" Me: "Yeah, though I had a case of the spins one night." He: "Which way did you go, clockwise or counter-clockwise?" Me: "On this side the equator it's clockwise. You have to get blasted in Brazil to go the other way." He: "Really?" Me: "Oh, sure. It works
She: "Any good comments on the cafeteria boards?" Me: "People take their food too personally." She: "How do you mean?" Me: "It's hard to explain. It's like the presence of broccoli is offensive to them or something." She: "Well I can understand that, given what broccoli has done to me in the past." Me: "Thank
Me: "I think I'll jettison all this identity theft anxiety." She: "How?" Me: "I'll post all my personal financial information to DTLI? and hold a contest to see who could ruin my credit rating first." She: "Really? Sort of skipping the middle-man and putting the power in the hands of everyday working thieves?" Me: "Exactly!
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