For those of you who are interested, I have one left in my personal change project (no unnecessary Internet surfing) for my Strategic Change I class. Soon, I'll be able to read blogs, snippets, ledgers, columns, blurbs and insightful commentary. There will be tons of political sarcasm, political positioning, movie reviews, t.v. reviews, Brad Pitt
He: "Well, that conversation got inappropriate quickly." Me: "Doesn't that describe most of your conversations?" He: "Yes. Most of my conversations are with women, so that probably explains it." Me: "We are inappropriate creatures." He: "Foul temptresses, every one!" Me: "And proud of it."
He: "It's a Japanese cucumber." Security Guard: "Yes, I can see that." He: "Well, what's the problem?" Security Guard: "It could be used as a weapon." He: "What?" Security Guard: "You could bludgeon someone with it." He: "Well, break it in half! I plan on eating it anyway." Security Guard: "Sir, I'm going to ask
VP: "I have some upsetting news." Me: "Yes?" VP: "I have to cancel the Intranet merger meeting next week." Me: "And why would I be upset?" VP: "Are you kidding? We've only been trying to schedule this thing for months!" Me: "Yeah, but it's not my project." VP: "Oh. So you're not upset?" Me: "Nope.
Physical Therapist to My PT: "I bet you twenty dollars I can get my patient's shoulder to go back quicker than your patient's." My PT: "No, no, no. That doesn't sound like a good idea." Me: "Take that bet!" My PT: "What?! I'm shocked to hear you say that. Your arm's still broken." Me: "Think
Me: "We can't do it on Sunday. I'm going to the Cubs game." She: "Oh, then it's no problem. The game will rain out on Sunday." Me: "Don't say that." She: "It's supposed to start tonight and rain, rain, rain all weekend long. You won't be going to a game." Me: "Don't say that!" She:
He: "I still can't get into the system. I thought maybe you could do something?" Me: "No, you need to talk to Bud." He: "Bud Selig? The baseball commissioner?" Me: "No, Bud the project coordinator. Why did you think Bud Selig could fix your access issues? That's clearly a Martha Stewart issue." She: "Or Spiderman.
This morning I was woken out of a dead sleep by the most obnoxious, deafening fire alarm in existence and was forced to finally answer that question we all ask ourselves from time to time: What would you grab? The answer was my jogging bra, good socks and sneakers. I had 32 flights of stairs
Me: "I can't believe you're bailing on me this weekend. All of you!" He: "Yeah, sorry about that, but you'll do fine. I found it easy to be entertained in New York on my own. There's lots to do." Me: "True. I was thinking about taking the Sex and the City tour." He: "What's that?
Me: "Why don't you call the column 'Management Is...'?" Boss: "Like the cartoon?" Me: "Yeah, why not?" Boss: "Oooooh, I like it." He: "What cartoon?" Boss: "It's this cartoon from the 70's called 'Love Is...'. Type it into the web and it'll come up." Me: "It has naked children in it." He: "And I've never
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