{"id":5323,"date":"2002-04-06T01:02:00","date_gmt":"2002-04-06T01:02:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/"},"modified":"2023-12-01T00:21:51","modified_gmt":"2023-12-01T00:21:51","slug":"5323-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/5323-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Cletus"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><b>Losing my&#8230;religion?<\/b><\/p>\n<p>My head is in my hands, I am lost in the throes of my cold. Ennui and Drixoral fight for control of my very soul. And then&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>She: &#8220;Are you praying to Cletus?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I slowly raise my eyes, and as I do, I feel the devil&#8217;s fire on my tongue.<\/p>\n<p>Me: &#8220;No, I pray to Bufford.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>She&#8217;s silent for a moment. The moment passes. Her holy wrath decends upon my world-weary head like a shot of Vicks Vapor Rub.<\/p>\n<p>She: &#8220;Heathen! How dare you go to the church across the street! Let me tell you about my God.  Cletus! Cletus is good!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>As she speaks, I feel my sinuses clear. I can breathe! Cletus! Cletus must be good!<\/p>\n<p>Me: &#8220;Testify, Sister, Testify!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Losing my&#8230;religion? My head is in my hands, I am lost in the throes of my cold. Ennui and Drixoral fight for control of my very soul. And then&#8230; She: &#8220;Are you praying to Cletus?&#8221; I slowly raise my eyes, and as I do, I feel the devil&#8217;s fire on my tongue. Me: &#8220;No, I<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[65],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5323","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5323","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5323"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5323\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6273,"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5323\/revisions\/6273"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5323"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5323"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5323"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}