Me: “Hello, K, I’ve lost Pattie’s cat.”<\/p>\n
K: “What? You ate Pattie’s fat?”<\/p>\n
Me: “No, I lost her cat. I’ve been all over her apartment and I can’t find the damned cat.”<\/p>\n
K: “You’re cat sitting?”<\/p>\n
Me: “Yeah. Cats don’t get stuck behind things, do they?”<\/p>\n
K: “No. They only go into places they can get out of, like closets and under beds. You may want to look there.”<\/p>\n
Me: “Hmmmm…okay. I’m just worried that I’m going to find the gruesome remains of this cat stuck head-first behind a dresser or something. She came out to play the last time I was here, she even let me pet her, and now she’s gone!”<\/p>\n
K: “That cat is anti-social, if I recall. You may want to shake the cat food or call for her. You didn’t lose the cat.”<\/p>\n
Me: “Yeah, I’ve tried all that. I’m telling you, this cat is gone…and she’s not a small cat, either. I’m a horrible, horrible cat sitter…oh wait.”<\/p>\n
K: “What?”<\/p>\n
Me: “She came out while we were talking. She just wanted to hear me berate my cat sitting abilities. She’s sitting in the next room, listening.”<\/p>\n
K: “See, told you the cat wasn’t dead.”<\/p>\n
Me: “Okay, but if I kill one cat, I’ll never be asked to cat sit again. I can’t be too careful. Thanks for getting me through the moment.”<\/p>\n
K: “Your cat anxiety is justified. I’m glad I was here to help.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Me: “Hello, K, I’ve lost Pattie’s cat.” K: “What? You ate Pattie’s fat?” Me: “No, I lost her cat. I’ve been all over her apartment and I can’t find the damned cat.” K: “You’re cat sitting?” Me: “Yeah. Cats don’t get stuck behind things, do they?” K: “No. They only go into places they can<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[65],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4479","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4479","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4479"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4479\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4479"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4479"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4479"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}