She: “So I’m going to this wine and cheese party on Saturday.”<\/p>\n
Me: “That’s rather unfortunate considering you’re abstaining from alcohol.”<\/p>\n
She: “Yes it is. I thought I’d take grape juice or whatever and drink what I wanted while they were having wine.”<\/p>\n
Me: “Why stop there?”<\/p>\n
She: “What do you mean?”<\/p>\n
Me: “Why not bring your own cheese, too? I suggest Kraft American singles.”<\/p>\n
She: “Wha-at? No, I can’t do that!”<\/p>\n
Me: “Sure you can — just play it straight. Bring in your slices for the host and offer to arrange them in a nice fan pattern. Offer sage comments on how Kraft singles bring out the subtle undertones of the grape juice.”<\/p>\n
She: “But my friends know I’m a cheese snob! I’d never get away with it.”<\/p>\n
Me: “In that case, take Cheese Whiz…up the kitch factor as high as it’ll go.”<\/p>\n
She: “I could offer to squirt Cheese Whiz onto crackers, or just eat it straigt from the can. Yeah, this has possibilities.”<\/p>\n
Me: “Now you’re being silly.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
She: “So I’m going to this wine and cheese party on Saturday.” Me: “That’s rather unfortunate considering you’re abstaining from alcohol.” She: “Yes it is. I thought I’d take grape juice or whatever and drink what I wanted while they were having wine.” Me: “Why stop there?” She: “What do you mean?” Me: “Why not<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[65],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4368","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4368","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4368"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4368\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4368"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4368"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/steepedinthelore.bitingreviews.com\/steeped\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4368"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}