He: “…So my last name’s a Scottish compaint about British heritage. By the way…what’s your last name?”
Me: “Green”
He: “No e? Just the color?”
Me: “No, not just the color. It’s a particular shade of green.”
He: “Wait, you have a shade?”
Me: “Oh, there’s nothing official, but I do have one in mind when I tell people my name. It’s the green crayola crayon. Sort of a John Deere green.”
He: “Really? Not pea green or kelly green or lime?”
Me: “No. When I tell people my name, I’m also projecting that hue. You think other peope don’t do it? Listen to Barry White…he’s projecting ecru. I’m telling ya…”
He: “Look, white is white. There aren’t shades.”
Me: “Have you ever tried to buy white paint? There’s a whole universe of white. You’re lucky that your name has an etymology. I’m left to convince people that mine has a hue.”
