He: “It’s a Japanese cucumber.”

Security Guard: “Yes, I can see that.”

He: “Well, what’s the problem?”

Security Guard: “It could be used as a weapon.”

He: “What?”

Security Guard: “You could bludgeon someone with it.”

He: “Well, break it in half! I plan on eating it anyway.”

Security Guard: “Sir, I’m going to ask my supervisor what to do with this.”

Me: “Hmmmmm.”