He: “Didya see that? It was huge!”

Me: “What, the wildlife?”

He: “That rat was THIS big! Ah, man…”

Me (looking): “I dunno, he’s not so big. I think you could take him in a fair fight.”

He (shuddering): “You ever have critters in your place? Ah, man…I couldn’t do it.”

Me: “Nah. They don’t bother me.”

He: “Tough girl, eh? All calm and everything…”

Me: “Why get excited? You have to expect rats–it’s warm down here and people throw food on the tracks. There’s probably 40-50 for every one you see. I’m very surprised there aren’t more scrounging around.”

He: “Ah, man…why’d you have to SAY that?!”

Me: “It’s not like they’ll board the train with us. Why don’t you toss them something to eat? Make peace with the city rats while you can.”

He (really shuddering): “Ah, man…I gotta get out of here. I gotta GO!”

Me: “I think I hear the train. It’ll all be over soon.”