Bang on the Drums…
Me: "I heard he was arrested once for nude bongo-drumming." She: "Oh really? Where did this take place?" Me: "I'm not sure. I didn't delve into it. The real tragedy, of course, is that he could only beat one drum at a time." She: "I don't know you. Get out!
Short Timer
She: "My head is spinning and I have a headache." Me: "Was it from the drinking last night?" She: "No. People are being excessively nice to me 'cause it's my last day. It's making my head hurt!" Me: "I can be indifferent and abrasive the rest of the day." She:
Nombre
Me: "I've always liked the word influenza. It has a pretty sound. Almost like a girl's name." She: "What about little edema?" Me: "Awww, you know if I had a girl, I would almost be tempted to name her that...or effluvia. I think effluvia sounds beautiful." She: "It rolls off
Maelstorm
Me: "How's it going?" She: "I'm awaiting the pending shit storm." Me: "Is that what's brewing on the horizon? Do you expect to be in the middle?" She: "Yeah. I can smell it coming." Me: "Would those be floaters or sinkers?" She: "Both." Me: "Well, shit."
Girl’s Best Friend
Me: "Who are you over there dissing?" He: "Sarah Brightman. They're playing her." Me: "Why? What do opera singers have against Sarah Brightman?" He: "She sold out." Me: "Hey, a girl's gotta eat..." He: "I suppose, but I'm eating and I haven't sold out!" Me: "...and, if possible, she's gotta
So Sayeth the Queen
The Queen (off camera, drunk): "...penis the size of a horse!..." The Queen (off camera, drunker): "...hung like a horse!...huge tits! huge!..." The Queen (to Me, stroking my arm): "You've got pretty red hair. Pretty, pretty. Oh honey?! Is he with you?" He (to the Queen): "Yes, we're on a
