Men in Black
She: "Johnny shuffled this mortal coil today." Me: "Which one? Ritter or Cash?" She: "John-ny. Not John." Me: "Or John Paul? According to CNN, he looks like he's on the verge." She: "John, Johnny, Johniest." Me: "It's a bad day for Johns." She: "Yes, it is."
Like music to my ears…
She: "I was on hold with the insurance company yesterday and they were playing Christmas music!" Me: "Here comes Santa Claus...he's a long way off, but here he comes." She: "Actually, they were playing the Halleluiah Chorus." Me: "I suppose, technically, that is classical music, but still..." She: "It's seasonal!"
Queer Eye for the Nose Hair
She: "Do you...have a nose hair problem?" Me: "No, I don't think so...but I suddenly feel compelled to check." She: "I know. I hate this show for making me think of nose hair." Me (patting the affected region): "Nothin' bristling out that I can tell." She: "Are you sure? They
Timing
She: "Eating at your desk, I see. Do you have a minute?" Me: "Sure! I'd love to hear about your weekend. How was the trip?" She: "Well, I had the grossest experience on the way home from the airport. This cabbie was blowing air hankies all the way home and
Admiration
He: "Hey...do you hear whistling?" Me: "Yes. It's been going on for a while. I can't tell where it's coming from." He (looking around): "Oh, it's those guys up there." Me: "Where? Oh...the Cook County Jailhouse. Figures." He: "Yeah, they're whistling at you." Me: "I wouldn't be so sure. You
Visa Moment
She: "So how are you? Are you feeling better about...things?" Me: "Yes, I've discovered therapy." She: "Really?" Me: "Yes, the Visa therapy program -- never leave home without it!" She: "How's that working for you?" Me: "Great! Visa has been really good to me...bought me clothes, outfitted me for my
