Precious
He: "Happily married guys are a safe bet to practice flirting on." She: "That doesn't seem right, but I'll try it...hey there, big boy!" Married Guy (sputtering, doing his best Golem imitation, stroking his wedding band): "No, I can't...must worship my precious! My precious!!" Me: "So, does your wife bind
Party Preparations
She: "All ready for the party tonight?" Me: "Yes. I got up early this morning, made my bed, and hid the contraband. You know...made the place presentable." She: "Hid the 'deus ex machina' contraband?" Me: "Oh, deus! Oh deus! More, more!" She: "Exactly." Me: "Yes, I hid that from view.
Striking fear into the hearts of content providers everywhere…
Roving Bank Reporter: "So, Tammy, do you have any scary Halloween stories we could put on the Intranet?" Me: "Well...yes, as a matter of fact." R.B.R.: "Great!" Me: "It was last Halloween...we were here late, working like madmen to meet our deadline...we finished a few minutes before midnight and flipped
Making Music
Dentist: "Hey, what's that?" Me: "Thissss? It'ssss my iPod. Ssheh ssaid I could play myoussic while you worked." Dentist: "Oh, sure. That's no problem. How do you get music on there?" Me: "I ussssse my com-com-compyouter." Dentist: "Really? You just copy the songs off of CD's and put them on
“Monkey Clucker!”
Me: "Excuse me, but did you just call that driver a monkey clucker?" She: "Yeah, it's my thing now." Me: "I like it, I like it." She: "Everyone knows monkeys and chickens are evil. Plus, it's not as harsh as calling someone a mother fucker for cutting you off. "
The games widgets play…
She: "They're going to cancel the project I've been working on for the past six months. The migration is supposed to happen this weekend!" Me: "Nothing like a last minute panic attack, eh?" She: "I don't know why the Senior Widget's have their panties in a twist. Even Audit is
