Sure Signs
He: "Excuse me, but you're in the wrong bathroom." Me: "No, I'm not." He: "Yes, you are." Me (pointing at the tampon machine): "No. I'm not." He: "...oh, oh! Excuse me..."
Glossed
She: "What kind of lipgloss is that?" She B: "It's called Make Out. What are you wearing?" She: "Diva." She B: "Of course." Me: "Golly, I feel under-glossed wearing this huckleberry lip balm." She B: "But didn't huckleberry lip balm once save your life?" Me: "Yes, yes it did." She:
Third Wheel
She: "How much do I owe you for the ticket? Or is this a date?" He: "It could be a date. You don't owe me for the ticket." Me: "No, no, no! If it's a date, then I'm a third wheel. If she pays, then it's an outing." She: "Wench!
Dashing Through the Snow
She: "Be careful! There are bumps around here and I don't want to tip over." Me: "If you do, make a snow angel. There's some nice, virgin snow on the right. Fall that way." She: "Great! That'll make it easier for the paramedics to find me." Me: "I'll tell them
A Senior VP Attempts Conversation
SVP: "So, ummmm, you, ummmm, have a classics background?" Me: "No, I have a degree in economics. Why?" SVP: "The, uhhhh, web page you showed was, uhhhhh, in Latin." Me: "Yes, I used Lorem Ipsum. It's commonly used as placeholder text in design." SVP: "Oh, oh. So you, ummm, don't
Referrals?
Me: "Oh, before I forget, the consultant is making us breakfast on Monday." She: "She's making it herself? Uh-oh." Me: "Making it...buying it and bringing it in...I'm not sure. Why?" She: "..." Me: "What? Spit it out." She: "Are you sure she's not going to poison us?" Me: "Why would
