He: “So you’re going to New York this weekend? What’s the occassion?”

Me: “I’m celebrating my birthday.”

He: “How old are you going to be?”

Me: “Old enough to know better.”

He: “Which is what, twelve?”

Me: “Nine.”

He: “That’s right. You mature faster in the South.”

Me: “No, I’m just precocious for my age.”

He: “Which is what again?”

Me: “Old enough to know better.”

He: “Right, right…”