Me: “Who are you over there dissing?”

He: “Sarah Brightman. They’re playing her.”

Me: “Why? What do opera singers have against Sarah Brightman?”

He: “She sold out.”

Me: “Hey, a girl’s gotta eat…”

He: “I suppose, but I’m eating and I haven’t sold out!”

Me: “…and, if possible, she’s gotta eat while wearing diamonds.”