She: “You know, you could just show up and look cute.”

Me: “Not run the race? Really?”

She: “Yeah, you won’t be hot and sweaty…there’ll be cute Elvis impersonators and whatall and we can go to the bar afterwards. Think about it.”

She B: “She’s right. If you don’t run, you’ll be sweat-free, cute and with an appropriately modified race t-shirt, ready for action.”

Me: “You guys…”

She: “Look, you can run, but you’re not going to look great afterwards.”

Me: “I won’t get any nifty medals if I do that…”

She: “But you may see some action if you don’t.”

She B: “Give in to the dark side! Rip the shirt!”

Me: “We’re not talking about racing any more, are we?”

She: “You’re just figuring that out?”