Going in Circles Me: "Want any souveniors from home?" She: "Bring me back a crop circle." Me: "The ones made in soybean fields aren't as impressive as the corn ones. They're made by shorter aliens." She: "You can judge the size of the invading alien horde by the height of the crop they deface?" Me:
Function Me: "What's wrong?" She: "I need to remember to breathe." Me: "I hate it when my autonomic system rebels." She: "I'm at the mercy of my body." Me: "Me, too. I had a battle regarding peristaltic functions a while ago." She: "And?" Me: "They joined forces with Brownian Motion, and nearly did me in."
Ephemera She: "And may I have the reason you are closing the account today?" Me: "It's a joint account." She: "..." Me: "We're no longer joint." She: "Oh, I see. Let me just close that out for you."
Non Sequitur She B: "... and so I think he's single." She: "That's right! There's a vacuum there, and your name is Hoover!" Me: "..." She: "Okay, that didn't sound right." Me: "That sounded no where near right. It was very, very wrong. You need to work on your transitions." She B: "I thought we
And it's nutritious, too. Me: "So I'm trying some energy gum." She: "Yeah? How is it?" Me: "Pretty good. It's got Ginkgo Balboa in it." She: "Wait. Wasn't Balboa a Spanish explorer?" Me: "Yeah, he discovered herbal remedies."
Method de Scientifique She: "It's beyond the ken of science." Me: "Then it's probably beyond the barbie of science, too." She: "Nothing gets past barbie."
The Age Old Question He: "I've never understood why women have so many shoes." Me: "Do you really want to know?" He: "Sure." Me: "It's simple. Feet don't gain weight." He: "Ahhh..."
Grabbing She: "So, what you're saying is, you're grabbing life by the horns." Me: "No, lower." She: "What?" Me: "I'm grabbing lower than that." She: "By the teats?" Me: "No, lower much lower." She: "By the knees?" Me: "Yes, I'm grabbing life by the knees. I'm digging into the kneecaps and not letting go." She:
Fear She: "Don't worry about the usability test, tomorrow. You'll do fine." Me: "It'll turn into something dark and ugly, I'm sure." She: "What's the worst that could happen?" Me: "The test could be taken over by goths. You know how they are. The lab would have low lighting and blackened windows, a lone PC
Free At Last He: "So, why did you call me sweetheart earlier today, if you wanted to break up with me?" Me: "It's what you wanted to hear." He: "...you're right about that." Me: "I know. G'bye."
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