She: "So, you're alive?" Me: "Yes. And in one piece." She: "How was it?" Me: "In light of their banter, I was left wondering how our conversations must seem to outsiders." She: "They had their own language?" Me: "Yeah, talking in short-hand and such." She: "But did they have secret hand signals?" Me: "Not that
Chirp. Chirp. "Damn it all, what does it want now? Why does it need attention now? I'm not getting out of bed, I'm not!" ...Chirp. Chirp. "Noooo...no matter how hard it cries!" ...Chirp. Chirp. "Noooooooo!" ...Chirp. Chirp. "Fine! Into the cradle with you!" ...Chirp. "*@!#!! cell phone had better learn to sleep through the night."
Boss: "I want you to build the best site in the system." Me: "Great! I've been wanting to change the way we do things. I can't wait to get started!" Boss: "Whoa! People are going to have a hard time with change. They won't go for it." Me: "Oh, we'll present best practices, do baseline
She: "Hear them going at it next door?" Me: "Yeah, let's cheer them on." She: "Don't you dare!" Me (beating in time on the wall): "Go, Bob Barker! Go, Bob Barker! The price is right! The price is right! Cummmmmmmm on dowwwwwwn! Yes! YES, oh GAWWD, YESSSSSSS!" She: "It's quiet again. I think they're done."
She: "Why should I take my camera? You're taking your camera." Me: "It's your vacation. Take it or not -- it doesn't matter." She: "You mean I can do what I want?" Me: "Absolutely." She: "What if I want to take off all my clothes and run naked down the street?" Me: "Hey, I don't
She: "You are giddy. Look at her, she's giddy!" She B: "She is. She's turning red. I don't think I've ever seen her turn red before." Me: "No, no, no, no, no, no...I am NOT giddy! And I AM NOT turning red!" She: "Oh, hon! Enjoy it. I don't remember the last time I was
She: "Have I mentioned how much I despise you?" Passer-By: "..." Me: "Why do you think I'm rubbing salt in the wounds?" Passer-By: "..." She (to Passer-By): "Do you mind? I'm talking to my best friend here!" Me (to Passer-By): "Yeah! Mind your own business." She: "Some people just can't feel the love."
She: "He was that boring, huh?" Me: "Yes, I had to make stuff up just to keep interested." She: "Like what?" Me: "I told him the story of how my career as a concert pianist came to a tragic end after a horrible horseriding accident." She: "He fell for that?" Me: "I'm not sure, it's
Me: "You should try to build some alliances. It'll make things easier." She: "I've never been one to curry favor. I've curried vegetables, but never curried favor." Me: "I understand. It leaves a bad taste in your mouth."
She: "She's a fine little Widget." Me: "How can you tell?" She: "She's instantly forgetable, doesn't ruffle any feathers and gives off a bland vibe. Plus she's square-shaped." Me: "So she can fit into those square holes? Doesn't she realize it's an oblong world?" She: "That's the tragedy of a Widget. They're manufactured and unable
