SVP: "So, ummmm, you, ummmm, have a classics background?" Me: "No, I have a degree in economics. Why?" SVP: "The, uhhhh, web page you showed was, uhhhhh, in Latin." Me: "Yes, I used Lorem Ipsum. It's commonly used as placeholder text in design." SVP: "Oh, oh. So you, ummm, don't read Latin." Me: "No, sorry."
Me: "Oh, before I forget, the consultant is making us breakfast on Monday." She: "She's making it herself? Uh-oh." Me: "Making it...buying it and bringing it in...I'm not sure. Why?" She: "..." Me: "What? Spit it out." She: "Are you sure she's not going to poison us?" Me: "Why would she do that? She wouldn't
She: "Everyone up there is incompetent!" (points to the ceiling) Me: "How far up are you pointing?" She: "To the 9th floor." Me: "Oh, I wasn't sure if you were pointing past the roof and including the Almighty in your ranting." She: "Well, now that you mention it..."
Me: "So, there really is a Winnebago, IL?" She: "Yeah, we drove through it, why?" Me: "It's just that I thought the sign for the Winnebago Clinic was for R.V. owners. I thought it was kinda cool that people drove their R.V.'s up to get serviced." She: "No, that was an actual clinic for sick
She: "I have a strange favor to ask of you." Me: "Ummm, okay. Shoot." She: "Would you measure my earlobes?" Me: "I've been waiting all day for someone to ask. I feel I'm eminently qualified." She B: "Is that because you're a lobist?" Me: "That's me. El Loboist."
He: "She thinks we balance each other out." Me: "Do we?" He: "Well, if there's a solution that we both agree on, then you know it's a damn fine solution." Me: "Yeah, but when was the last time we agreed on anything?" He: "Good point. I'll tell her the master plan is flawed."
She: "Sorry, I can't do it Thursday night. I'm hosting a book club meeting that evening." She B: "I can't go Thursday, either. I'm hosting a pity party." Me: "Thursday's out for me, too. I'm doing a one-woman tribute to web development." She: "...what?" She B: "So, you're going to be a web page? How's
She: "What movie are they playing?" Me: "Looks like 'Tora, Tora, Tora'." She: "Oh...I always thought it was Spanish film." Me: "Nope. It's about the bombing of Pearl Harbor told from the Japanese side." She: "Oh. It's just that tora sounds Spanish." Me: "You're thinking torro. That's Spanish for bull." She: "Right, right. I knew
She: "...I think they were cleaning up the Notes database during the migration. For some reason there were a bunch of dead presidents and weird groups in the name and address book." Me: "The training department used them for classes, and I'm sure security had a few thrown in as ringers. If they deleted the
Me: "Could you put that in a plastic bag for me? It's starting to rain." Store Keeper: "Sure, sure. I'll have to charge you half a penny." Me: "Half a penny? That's a bargain at twice the price." Store Keeper: "Sure, sure. Half a penny then." Me: "Here, take a whole one."
