Legacy

Me: "Hello, K, I've lost Pattie's cat." K: "What? You ate Pattie's fat?" Me: "No, I lost her cat. I've been all over her apartment and I can't find the damned cat." K: "You're cat sitting?" Me: "Yeah. Cats don't get stuck behind things, do they?" K: "No. They only go into places they can

He: "I like the time travel episodes best. Like the one where Tasha comes back and leaves on the Enterprise C, and then a few seasons later she returns as her own daughter." Me: "Yeah, good times, good times. Didn't she just leave the show after the first season?" He: "She didn't even make it

She: "Okay, I had to call. We posted at exactly the same time." Me: "Great minds think alike. What was your home improvement project today? Did you use the dremel tool?" She: "Yeah, I worked on the stairs. It works great." Me: "How far did you get?" She: "Not far. After a while you start

Me: "I painted my bedroom today." She: "Already? Wow. I'm proud of you." Me: "For what?" She: "Embracing color. A year ago, all of your walls were white, and now you can't stand to have white walls in your place." Me: "I owe it all to you, Color Sensei!" She: "Hai!"

He: "This song is great! It's from 1987!" Me: "Great year. I graduated high school in '87." She: "I'll refrain from telling you when I graduated from high school." Me: "Okay, that's it! I'm going to sulk over there." She B: "What's wrong?" Me: "She refrained from telling me when she graduated, ostensibly to keep

He: "My sisters told me there are three criteria for bras: cut, color, comfort." Me: "They left out padding, lace, lift and whether it squishes your boobs together. And color? It's a choice between white/beige or not. All you need to know is if it can be seen under a white shirt." He: "I had

Me: "You know what I realize after watching this film?" She: "What?" Me: "I'd like to be in a cavalry charge." She: "Ahhh, I told you you'd like The Last Samurai ." Me: "Actually this idea started with Return of the King. That was a great charge!" She: "Yes it was, but I have no

He: "Excuse me, but you're in the wrong bathroom." Me: "No, I'm not." He: "Yes, you are." Me (pointing at the tampon machine): "No. I'm not." He: "...oh, oh! Excuse me..."

She: "What kind of lipgloss is that?" She B: "It's called Make Out. What are you wearing?" She: "Diva." She B: "Of course." Me: "Golly, I feel under-glossed wearing this huckleberry lip balm." She B: "But didn't huckleberry lip balm once save your life?" Me: "Yes, yes it did." She: "You could combine glosses. Add

She: "How much do I owe you for the ticket? Or is this a date?" He: "It could be a date. You don't owe me for the ticket." Me: "No, no, no! If it's a date, then I'm a third wheel. If she pays, then it's an outing." She: "Wench! You're gonna cost me fifteen