Batman: “As you know, the Gotham Bank was robbed yesterday at noon. The criminals got away free and clear because I wasn’t on the scene. The crime must be solved, gentlemen, but more importantly, we need to know why I wasn’t informed. I think there’s a communications breakdown.”
Alfred: “Sir, I can’t see the bat signal during daylight hours.”
Robin: “Golly, Batman, it’s bright during the daytime. It’s hard to tell if that thing’s on.”
Batman: “Gentlemen! It’s obvious that we must increase the wattage! Must I think of everything?”
Alfred: “Sir, the condo associations in the vicinity of the bat signal have filed complaints about light pollution. Apparently, the donation of Levolor darkening shades by the Bruce Wayne Foundation wasn’t well received. Might I suggest moving the bat signal?”
Batman: “Alfred, you know that location is everything. We can’t move the bat signal! If I did that, then requests to change my logo to something more distinctive and environmentally friendly would start pouring in. We can’t risk it!”
Robin: “How about bat beepers? Could we get bat beepers, Batman?”
Batman: “No, Robin. That dilutes the Bat brand. The only way to strike fear into the hearts of evil doers to increase the number of market impressions — we’ll lose our intended audience with beepers. We also don’t want the good citizens of Gotham to think that Batman isn’t open for business.”
Alfred: “Sir, criminals need not know about the paging devices. You could use both.”
Batman: “Wait! I have a great idea! We’ll use the bat signal and bat beepers! This way, there will be redundant communications in case of an emergency or a particularly sunny day. Gentlemen, ideas like this are what separate the super heros from the sidekicks!”
Alfred: “Yes, sir. I’ll inform the commissioner.”
