Boss: "I want you to build the best site in the system." Me: "Great! I've been wanting to change the way we do things. I can't wait to get started!" Boss: "Whoa! People are going to have a hard time with change. They won't go for it." Me: "Oh, we'll present best practices, do baseline
She: "Hear them going at it next door?" Me: "Yeah, let's cheer them on." She: "Don't you dare!" Me (beating in time on the wall): "Go, Bob Barker! Go, Bob Barker! The price is right! The price is right! Cummmmmmmm on dowwwwwwn! Yes! YES, oh GAWWD, YESSSSSSS!" She: "It's quiet again. I think they're done."
She: "Why should I take my camera? You're taking your camera." Me: "It's your vacation. Take it or not -- it doesn't matter." She: "You mean I can do what I want?" Me: "Absolutely." She: "What if I want to take off all my clothes and run naked down the street?" Me: "Hey, I don't
She: "You are giddy. Look at her, she's giddy!" She B: "She is. She's turning red. I don't think I've ever seen her turn red before." Me: "No, no, no, no, no, no...I am NOT giddy! And I AM NOT turning red!" She: "Oh, hon! Enjoy it. I don't remember the last time I was
She: "Have I mentioned how much I despise you?" Passer-By: "..." Me: "Why do you think I'm rubbing salt in the wounds?" Passer-By: "..." She (to Passer-By): "Do you mind? I'm talking to my best friend here!" Me (to Passer-By): "Yeah! Mind your own business." She: "Some people just can't feel the love."
She: "He was that boring, huh?" Me: "Yes, I had to make stuff up just to keep interested." She: "Like what?" Me: "I told him the story of how my career as a concert pianist came to a tragic end after a horrible horseriding accident." She: "He fell for that?" Me: "I'm not sure, it's
Me: "You should try to build some alliances. It'll make things easier." She: "I've never been one to curry favor. I've curried vegetables, but never curried favor." Me: "I understand. It leaves a bad taste in your mouth."
She: "She's a fine little Widget." Me: "How can you tell?" She: "She's instantly forgetable, doesn't ruffle any feathers and gives off a bland vibe. Plus she's square-shaped." Me: "So she can fit into those square holes? Doesn't she realize it's an oblong world?" She: "That's the tragedy of a Widget. They're manufactured and unable
Our hero, caught deep within the clenched bowels of bureaucracy, desperately sought to make it through the endless conference call. Files were shuffled, meaningful dialog was attempted, and there was a glimmer of hope that the meeting would end. She could almost revel in the prospect of a schedule-free afternoon. The end of the agenda
She: "Lots and lots of eye candy there." Me: "And, yum, candy tastes good." She: "Yours tasted good. Mine was sitting on the back shelf getting old and stale." Me: "No way! I saw you trying that candy." She: "Sure, I peeked under the wrapper. Stale, stale candy."
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