Or so Dave's Web of Lies would have you believe. Go test yourself against such whoppers as this: The French Ministry of Culture has projected that 87 per cent of all French post-modernists will have deconstructed themselves by 2008. The Prince of Wales intends to announce that he is abandoning his water-coloring hobby so that
"He looks like a bronze statute. I wonder how many times they had to dip him." "In bronze?" "Self-tanner. Looks like they used a vat of the stuff. I bet they held him by the ankle and lowered him in." "And does that make Brad invulnerable to bad movie reviews?" "Probably. Look what it did
He: "Didya see that? It was huge!" Me: "What, the wildlife?" He: "That rat was THIS big! Ah, man..." Me (looking): "I dunno, he's not so big. I think you could take him in a fair fight." He (shuddering): "You ever have critters in your place? Ah, man...I couldn't do it." Me: "Nah. They don't
Me: "So I read today about this lady in New York who got Chris Rock's old cellphone number. She apparently got some very, VERY interesting phone calls." She: "Why can't anything like that ever happen to me!" She B: "Excuse me? This from the woman with a Tribune by-line!" Me: "This from the woman who
She: "Yes, she got some very good news. We've got to celebrate. 'Bye!" G (over-hearing): "Excuse me, but I'm going to butt in. What's your good news? If you don't say, I'm telling everyone you're pregnant." Me: "I found out about grad school. I got in!" G: "That's great! Congratulations!" Me (walking away): "Yeah, strange
She: "Congratulations! I knew you'd get in!" Me: "Thanks! I did the SQUeeeeeeeee dance when I found out." She: "Wait. There's a SQUeeeeeeeee dance?" Me: "Oh sure." She: "Can you show me what it looks like." Me: "No, I'm afraid not. You see, it's a highly situational thing. I can't do it unless I'm having
I've been accepted at Northwestern University. I will begin work on my Master's degree in Learning and Organizational Change at the end of the month! The stress of uncertainty has officially been replaced by the stress of going to school and working full time. This will be fun!
She: "Everytime I watch it, I always ooooooooh and ahhhhhh over something. I even squeal with delight." She B: "Thus leading her neighbors to question whether it's live or memorex." Me: "I don't know about her neighbors, but mine would be happy for me either way." She: "You live in a very progressive building." Me:
It's spring and my fancy has turned to cleaning up the electronic detritis I've accumulated. I can't find anything in my favorites, and I don't visit half the stuff I have bookmarked. It seems the surest way to never get read is to be hidden in the guts of a browser. So...what to do? Method:Pull
She: "So I'm going to this wine and cheese party on Saturday." Me: "That's rather unfortunate considering you're abstaining from alcohol." She: "Yes it is. I thought I'd take grape juice or whatever and drink what I wanted while they were having wine." Me: "Why stop there?" She: "What do you mean?" Me: "Why not
