Me: "Do you want to be peaceful while we're in New York this weekend?" She: "Ummmm...sure, why?" Me: "We get discounts if we protest our politics peacefully." She: "I hadn't planned on protesting." Me: "YES, YOU DID. And now you'll get discounts for being peaceful about it." She: "Ri-ight. I'm peaceful and I want discounts
Passenger 1: "I heard they had a fire at Belmont." Passenger 2: "Nah, I think it was Diversy." Passenger 1: "Maybe. You heard about that guy that got hit yesterday?" Passenger 2: "Yeah, they found bits all over the tracks." Passenger 1: "Exactly! You know when it all started to go to hell?" Passenger 2:
He: "So you're going to New York this weekend? What's the occassion?" Me: "I'm celebrating my birthday." He: "How old are you going to be?" Me: "Old enough to know better." He: "Which is what, twelve?" Me: "Nine." He: "That's right. You mature faster in the South." Me: "No, I'm just precocious for my age."
Me: "Look what I've got." She: "Hey, that's money!" Me: "Twenty five dollars!" She: "Where'd you get it?" Me: "Funny you should ask. I was walking down the street and this kid goes running by me, money falling out of his pockets. I picked it up and then went running after him and shouting, 'Kid,
Me: "I learned most of my Japanese through pop-culture. You know, things like Mr. Roboto." She: "What is this Mr. Roboto?" Me: "It's a song that goes Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto..." SheB: "Wait! 'Domo arigato' means something?" Me & She: "Thank you very much." SheB: "Oh, oh! I thought they were making up words." Me:
Street Hustler: "Excuse me, but I'm from a commune in Virginia..." Me: "That's nice." Street Hustler: "Yeah, we're a group of artists..." Me: "That's nice, but I gotta go." Street Hustler: "We want to be part of a world that doesn't suck..." Me: "..." She: "No, he wants to be part of a world that
She: "Are you really watching the Olympics? I didn't realize everyone was so patriotic." She2: "Yeah, we're into it." Me: "But it's not about patriotism, really. It's just that it's one of the few, if only, global ceremonies we have." She: "I guess so..." She2: "We talked about this earlier. There's really no other thing
He: "I like your shoes. Those are really great." Me: "Thanks! Ask me how much I paid for them. Seriously." He2: "Don't do that! God, since you've been married you're so into the shoes, the clothes, the styles..." Me: "Hey, leave him alone. He dresses much better now. I, for one, appreciate all his wife
He: "My boss wanted me to let your folks know when I'd be out in case something happens." Me: "That's fine except you left one of them off the distribution list." He: "I find it's best to keep at least one employee in the dark at all times." Me: "Because faulty information enhances productivity?" He:
Me: "Okay, I'm going to lay out this plan and THEN you can poke as many holes in it as you want." Emp 1: "Yes, but I have questions about how we're going to handle..." Me: "No, no. I said I'd lay the plan out FIRST, and then you can poke." Me (to Emp 2):
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