Me: "Did the ceiling in your bathroom have cheetah spots?" He: "My bathroom?" Me: "Yeah, in McDonald's. Did it?" He: "Nooooooo. Did yours?" Me: "It did. Kinda freaked me out. That's something I didn't need to see this early in the morning." He: "Are you sure you weren't hallucinating?" Me: "I was not hallucinating! See,
She: "Here, we need these, too." Me: "Entenmann's Chocolate Chip Cookies? We need these? I thought you were being good." She: "I was, but we have to get them. They're Amy's favorites!" Me: "But...Amy's not going to be there!" She: "Then we'll eat them in her honor." Me: "When there's no logic, how can I
Me: "You're too young to fly on a plane by yourself." Niece: "Oh yeah? When I was a baby I flew here to see Grandma and Grandpa." Me: "And you remember that?" Niece: "Uh-huh." Me: "Then you remember the plane crash, too?" Niece: "Uh-huh!" Me: "A-ha! There was no plane crash! I caught you fibbing!"
She: "I hear you saw Hugh Jackman while you were in New York." Me: "Yeah. He did a full costume change onstage. It was divine." She B: "There was so much hootin' and hollerin' that he broke character. It was so worth it." She: "Wait a minute. A costume change? When did he do the
Me: "Let's head over to the Empire State Building." She: "..." Me: "We can get lunch at Macy's." She: "..." Me: "It's on 34th Street. Where the miracle took place." She: "...wait. Miracle? What miracle? There was a miracle?" Me: "You know, they claimed that Santa worked at Macy's." She: "...oh! Oh! You can't change
Me: "Do you want to be peaceful while we're in New York this weekend?" She: "Ummmm...sure, why?" Me: "We get discounts if we protest our politics peacefully." She: "I hadn't planned on protesting." Me: "YES, YOU DID. And now you'll get discounts for being peaceful about it." She: "Ri-ight. I'm peaceful and I want discounts
Passenger 1: "I heard they had a fire at Belmont." Passenger 2: "Nah, I think it was Diversy." Passenger 1: "Maybe. You heard about that guy that got hit yesterday?" Passenger 2: "Yeah, they found bits all over the tracks." Passenger 1: "Exactly! You know when it all started to go to hell?" Passenger 2:
He: "So you're going to New York this weekend? What's the occassion?" Me: "I'm celebrating my birthday." He: "How old are you going to be?" Me: "Old enough to know better." He: "Which is what, twelve?" Me: "Nine." He: "That's right. You mature faster in the South." Me: "No, I'm just precocious for my age."
Me: "Look what I've got." She: "Hey, that's money!" Me: "Twenty five dollars!" She: "Where'd you get it?" Me: "Funny you should ask. I was walking down the street and this kid goes running by me, money falling out of his pockets. I picked it up and then went running after him and shouting, 'Kid,
Me: "I learned most of my Japanese through pop-culture. You know, things like Mr. Roboto." She: "What is this Mr. Roboto?" Me: "It's a song that goes Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto..." SheB: "Wait! 'Domo arigato' means something?" Me & She: "Thank you very much." SheB: "Oh, oh! I thought they were making up words." Me:
