She: "Did you bring toothpaste?" Me: "Yeah, in my overnight bag. It's Close-up." She (singing): "Get a closer...now don't be shy..." Me: "Stop! That is not the Close-up theme song!" She: "Oh. What is it?" Me: "Arid Extra Dry. I don't need to think about deo while I'm brushing my teeth." She: "Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Waitress: "You get a salad with that. What kind of dressing do you want?" Me: "French?" Waitress: "What?" Me: "How about Catalina?" Waitress: "Look, this is a diner." Me: "Okay, what do you have?" Waitress: "Italian, Russian, Western..." Me: "Western. The orange stuff." Waitress: "Oh, is that the same as French? Learn something new everyday."
She: "That meeting was five minutes late." Me: "It started five minutes late." She: "You could start without me." Me: "Then I'd cover ground twice." She: "What if I had production issues to attend to?" Me: "Did you have production issues?" She: "No." Me: "Then don't beat me up over production issues. If you had
