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Monthly Archives: May 2004

Instructions

Physical Therapist: "Have a good weekend! Stay vertical, TG!" Me: "Awwwwww. What if I don't want to stay vertical? That's no fun!" My Physical Therapist: "I think you ruined her weekend." Physical Therapist: "Fine. Get horizontal if you'd like, but don't fall down and hurt your arm." Me: "I'll try my best. On both counts."

By |2004-05-29T00:30:00+00:00May 29th, 2004|Legacy|Comments Off on Instructions

Overheard at a party

Me: "...and on Monday I'll be eradicating passive voice." He: "..." Me: "Obviously, the battle starts at home." He: "Obviously." ::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-::-:: She: "A girl looks good with bullion." She B: "Excuse me, did you say you looked good with a boy on?" Me: "I think you should try on both and see which you like

By |2023-11-30T23:37:09+00:00May 27th, 2004|Legacy|Comments Off on Overheard at a party

Spring Clean

As you can probably tell, I decided to use one of Blogger's zippy new templates. I've lost a few things -- comments are now run by Blogger. I decided not to keep Haloscan, though they've been good to me. I'll add things back into the new template as I get time, and probably remove some

By |2004-05-21T21:29:00+00:00May 21st, 2004|Legacy|Comments Off on Spring Clean

One More Week…

For those of you who are interested, I have one left in my personal change project (no unnecessary Internet surfing) for my Strategic Change I class. Soon, I'll be able to read blogs, snippets, ledgers, columns, blurbs and insightful commentary. There will be tons of political sarcasm, political positioning, movie reviews, t.v. reviews, Brad Pitt

By |2004-05-20T16:44:00+00:00May 20th, 2004|Legacy|Comments Off on One More Week…

Inappropriate

He: "Well, that conversation got inappropriate quickly." Me: "Doesn't that describe most of your conversations?" He: "Yes. Most of my conversations are with women, so that probably explains it." Me: "We are inappropriate creatures." He: "Foul temptresses, every one!" Me: "And proud of it."

By |2004-05-14T21:48:00+00:00May 14th, 2004|Legacy|Comments Off on Inappropriate

The Issue with Cukes

He: "It's a Japanese cucumber." Security Guard: "Yes, I can see that." He: "Well, what's the problem?" Security Guard: "It could be used as a weapon." He: "What?" Security Guard: "You could bludgeon someone with it." He: "Well, break it in half! I plan on eating it anyway." Security Guard: "Sir, I'm going to ask

By |2004-05-10T01:22:00+00:00May 10th, 2004|Legacy|Comments Off on The Issue with Cukes

News

VP: "I have some upsetting news." Me: "Yes?" VP: "I have to cancel the Intranet merger meeting next week." Me: "And why would I be upset?" VP: "Are you kidding? We've only been trying to schedule this thing for months!" Me: "Yeah, but it's not my project." VP: "Oh. So you're not upset?" Me: "Nope.

By |2004-05-07T21:51:00+00:00May 7th, 2004|Legacy|Comments Off on News

On Physical Therapy…

Physical Therapist to My PT: "I bet you twenty dollars I can get my patient's shoulder to go back quicker than your patient's." My PT: "No, no, no. That doesn't sound like a good idea." Me: "Take that bet!" My PT: "What?! I'm shocked to hear you say that. Your arm's still broken." Me: "Think

By |2004-05-07T13:41:00+00:00May 7th, 2004|Legacy|Comments Off on On Physical Therapy…

Puttin’ the Whammy On

Me: "We can't do it on Sunday. I'm going to the Cubs game." She: "Oh, then it's no problem. The game will rain out on Sunday." Me: "Don't say that." She: "It's supposed to start tonight and rain, rain, rain all weekend long. You won't be going to a game." Me: "Don't say that!" She:

By |2004-05-06T21:41:00+00:00May 6th, 2004|Legacy|Comments Off on Puttin’ the Whammy On

Higher Powers

He: "I still can't get into the system. I thought maybe you could do something?" Me: "No, you need to talk to Bud." He: "Bud Selig? The baseball commissioner?" Me: "No, Bud the project coordinator. Why did you think Bud Selig could fix your access issues? That's clearly a Martha Stewart issue." She: "Or Spiderman.

By |2004-05-04T00:52:00+00:00May 4th, 2004|Legacy|Comments Off on Higher Powers

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