He: "She thinks we balance each other out." Me: "Do we?" He: "Well, if there's a solution that we both agree on, then you know it's a damn fine solution." Me: "Yeah, but when was the last time we agreed on anything?" He: "Good point. I'll tell her the master plan is flawed."
She: "Sorry, I can't do it Thursday night. I'm hosting a book club meeting that evening." She B: "I can't go Thursday, either. I'm hosting a pity party." Me: "Thursday's out for me, too. I'm doing a one-woman tribute to web development." She: "...what?" She B: "So, you're going to be a web page? How's
She: "What movie are they playing?" Me: "Looks like 'Tora, Tora, Tora'." She: "Oh...I always thought it was Spanish film." Me: "Nope. It's about the bombing of Pearl Harbor told from the Japanese side." She: "Oh. It's just that tora sounds Spanish." Me: "You're thinking torro. That's Spanish for bull." She: "Right, right. I knew
She: "...I think they were cleaning up the Notes database during the migration. For some reason there were a bunch of dead presidents and weird groups in the name and address book." Me: "The training department used them for classes, and I'm sure security had a few thrown in as ringers. If they deleted the
Me: "Could you put that in a plastic bag for me? It's starting to rain." Store Keeper: "Sure, sure. I'll have to charge you half a penny." Me: "Half a penny? That's a bargain at twice the price." Store Keeper: "Sure, sure. Half a penny then." Me: "Here, take a whole one."
He: "Happily married guys are a safe bet to practice flirting on." She: "That doesn't seem right, but I'll try it...hey there, big boy!" Married Guy (sputtering, doing his best Golem imitation, stroking his wedding band): "No, I can't...must worship my precious! My precious!!" Me: "So, does your wife bind you in the darkness?" Married
She: "All ready for the party tonight?" Me: "Yes. I got up early this morning, made my bed, and hid the contraband. You know...made the place presentable." She: "Hid the 'deus ex machina' contraband?" Me: "Oh, deus! Oh deus! More, more!" She: "Exactly." Me: "Yes, I hid that from view. Can't have anyone getting scared
Roving Bank Reporter: "So, Tammy, do you have any scary Halloween stories we could put on the Intranet?" Me: "Well...yes, as a matter of fact." R.B.R.: "Great!" Me: "It was last Halloween...we were here late, working like madmen to meet our deadline...we finished a few minutes before midnight and flipped the switch! The Content Management
Dentist: "Hey, what's that?" Me: "Thissss? It'ssss my iPod. Ssheh ssaid I could play myoussic while you worked." Dentist: "Oh, sure. That's no problem. How do you get music on there?" Me: "I ussssse my com-com-compyouter." Dentist: "Really? You just copy the songs off of CD's and put them on there?" Me: "Weell, it'ssss moore
Me: "Excuse me, but did you just call that driver a monkey clucker?" She: "Yeah, it's my thing now." Me: "I like it, I like it." She: "Everyone knows monkeys and chickens are evil. Plus, it's not as harsh as calling someone a mother fucker for cutting you off. " Me: "I don't know about
