He: "Aristotle Onassis's granddaughter turned 18 today. I need to get me some of that." Me: "Can you imagine how hard it's going to be to impress an 18 year old billionaire? I mean, what would you do for a first date?" He: "I'd impress her with my programming skills -- whip out a workflow
Me: "What?" She: "They've been checking you out and you haven't noticed. Again." Me: "Who? Where? Were they worthy?" She: "Some of them." Me: "You need to point them out to me, you know I'm oblivious." She: "I'll try, but they're fast. They scurry away like cockroaches in the light."
Bidding Me: "...you can get one of those on Ebay, you know." She: "You can find anything on Ebay." Me: "Really? What do you have bids on?" She: "A soul. I should check on it -- the auction will be over in a few hours." Me: "Are souls cheap? Do you have to meet any
Tator Trauma Because of a series of unfortunate dining choices, I now have a tator tot stuck between my stove and cabinet. The gap between the two tapers into a vee as you get closer to the bottom of the space, thus allowing me to achieve maximum tator tot velocity about six inches from the
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