The Age Old Question
The Age Old Question He: "I've never understood why women have so many shoes." Me: "Do you really want to know?" He: "Sure." Me: "It's simple. Feet don't gain weight." He: "Ahhh..."
By the knees
Grabbing She: "So, what you're saying is, you're grabbing life by the horns." Me: "No, lower." She: "What?" Me: "I'm grabbing lower than that." She: "By the teats?" Me: "No, lower much lower." She: "By the knees?" Me: "Yes, I'm grabbing life by the knees. I'm digging into the kneecaps and not letting go." She:
Fear
Fear She: "Don't worry about the usability test, tomorrow. You'll do fine." Me: "It'll turn into something dark and ugly, I'm sure." She: "What's the worst that could happen?" Me: "The test could be taken over by goths. You know how they are. The lab would have low lighting and blackened windows, a lone PC
Goodbye
Free At Last He: "So, why did you call me sweetheart earlier today, if you wanted to break up with me?" Me: "It's what you wanted to hear." He: "...you're right about that." Me: "I know. G'bye."
Arts &
Arts & ... Me: "You're a crafty one." She: "That's me. Give me a bag of popsicle sticks and I can build a nuclear weapon."
Clacked
Symbiosis? Me: "I guess we just didn't click the way I thought we would." She: "You mean you clacked...no, I mean clashed." Me: "No, you had it right the first time. We clacked."
Clock. Wise.
Clock. Wise. Me: "If you get drunk, and the room starts spinning, does it spin counter-clockwise if you're on the other side of the equator?" She: "What?" Me: "You know, like toliet water. It spins the other way when you're in Brazil." She: "The more important question is, if you're ON the equator, in the
Nobody’s Cookie
Nobody's Cookie He: "Are you my little snickerdoodle?" Me: "Hell, no! I've seen what you do to snickerdoodles." He: "..." Me: "Think of me as day-old bread."
Priceless?
Priceless? She: "Have you ever paid for sex?" Me: "Honey, I feel like I've always paid for sex." She: "Sorry, I meant outside of maintaining a boyfriend." Me: "And I want a refund! Do gigalos take master card?" She: "Why?" Me: "I want the option of disputing the charges."
Verisimilitude
Movie Review She: "Have you seen the new Spiderman film, yet?" Me: "I saw it over the weekend." She: "And?" Me: "It was pretty good. The sticky floor added a sense of verisimilitude." She: "Ewww." Me: "It would've been fine if they'd stopped there, but they made the arm rests sticky, too." She: "EWWW!"
