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Yearly Archives: 2002

Home Repair

Prevarication I'm having issues with my drill. It won't, for some odd reason, allow me to put a hole into the wall next to my bathroom door, which I need in order to anchor my towel bar. The other hole drilled in quite nicely, but this one stopped just short of required depth. I don't

By |2023-12-01T17:13:42+00:00October 1st, 2002|Legacy|Comments Off on Home Repair

Can’t keep a good man down

Can't keep a good man down She: "I know you didn't mean to bring back the Ghost of Christmas Past." Me: "I meant for him to stay locked in the closet. Guess I'll have to bury hatchet between his eyes. Can't have him wandering around." She: "You're a woman with issues." Me: "I have no

By |2023-12-01T17:14:36+00:00September 27th, 2002|Legacy|Comments Off on Can’t keep a good man down

Inner Heroine

Inner Heroine She: "So does she have a name?" Me: "You mean my avatar? The one that slays dragons, triumphs over Corporate America and still has a perfect manicure?" She: "Yeah. Mine is called Adrianna." Me: "Teá " She: "Like Teá Leone?" Me: "Yeah, except more heroine than comedienne."

By |2023-12-01T17:15:49+00:00September 5th, 2002|Legacy|Comments Off on Inner Heroine

State of Mind

State of Mind She: "We each have our own private Idaho." Me: "Not me, I'm done with that state. I have my own private Wyoming, now." She: "Really? I'm working on my own private Vermont." Me: "Vermont seems a little small to hold your troubles. Texas?" She: "Dubbya's using it."

By |2023-12-01T17:16:08+00:00September 2nd, 2002|Legacy|Comments Off on State of Mind

Going in Circles

Going in Circles Me: "Want any souveniors from home?" She: "Bring me back a crop circle." Me: "The ones made in soybean fields aren't as impressive as the corn ones. They're made by shorter aliens." She: "You can judge the size of the invading alien horde by the height of the crop they deface?" Me:

By |2023-12-01T17:16:52+00:00August 15th, 2002|Legacy|Comments Off on Going in Circles

Autonomic

Function Me: "What's wrong?" She: "I need to remember to breathe." Me: "I hate it when my autonomic system rebels." She: "I'm at the mercy of my body." Me: "Me, too. I had a battle regarding peristaltic functions a while ago." She: "And?" Me: "They joined forces with Brownian Motion, and nearly did me in."

By |2023-12-01T17:17:54+00:00August 14th, 2002|Legacy|Comments Off on Autonomic

No Longer Joint

Ephemera She: "And may I have the reason you are closing the account today?" Me: "It's a joint account." She: "..." Me: "We're no longer joint." She: "Oh, I see. Let me just close that out for you."

By |2023-12-01T17:19:04+00:00August 5th, 2002|Legacy|Comments Off on No Longer Joint

Non Sequitur

Non Sequitur She B: "... and so I think he's single." She: "That's right! There's a vacuum there, and your name is Hoover!" Me: "..." She: "Okay, that didn't sound right." Me: "That sounded no where near right. It was very, very wrong. You need to work on your transitions." She B: "I thought we

By |2023-12-01T17:19:47+00:00August 1st, 2002|Legacy|Comments Off on Non Sequitur

And it’s nutritious, too.

And it's nutritious, too. Me: "So I'm trying some energy gum." She: "Yeah? How is it?" Me: "Pretty good. It's got Ginkgo Balboa in it." She: "Wait. Wasn't Balboa a Spanish explorer?" Me: "Yeah, he discovered herbal remedies."

By |2023-12-01T17:21:00+00:00July 24th, 2002|Legacy|Comments Off on And it’s nutritious, too.

Method de Scientifique

Method de Scientifique She: "It's beyond the ken of science." Me: "Then it's probably beyond the barbie of science, too." She: "Nothing gets past barbie."

By |2023-12-01T17:21:41+00:00July 16th, 2002|Legacy|Comments Off on Method de Scientifique

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